Hello Bagful regulars. It's me again, Scott. It's been a couple of months since my last post, and as I've been reading Nicole's articles, and we've had conversations about her addiction, it suddenly seemed like time for me to write something from my point of view.
And that point of view is: What's it like to be married to a makeup junkie?
The title of this post pretty much conveys every conversation we have when Nicole comes home with new makeup things. I don't really understand what the thing is, and even if I do, I don't understand why she has so many of them. Surely one lipstick is more than enough, right? I can make a tube of Chapstick last for months, so, by my reckoning, Nicole's lipstick collection should last her, roughly, until the Sun explodes. And likely a bit longer, given that so many of them are SPF-30.
The same is true for eye liner. Or is it eye pencil? No, eye pen? Eye spy? I don't know...there are just so many things which look, and function, identically.
Perhaps this is best exemplified by a recent haul from Burberry. She obtained a lip pencil, and an eye pencil. Same box. Same thing. Different colour. But apparently one was for the eye and one was for the lip. I questioned whether or not they weren't just the same thing, so, buying a colour which could work in both locations might have been a prudent procurement.
There was scoffing at that suggestion.
Of course, I followed up with another question of my wife: So, what did that cost, a dollar?
I knew it cost many, many times more than that, and that is largely due to the rather revolting Australia Tax which retailers employ here -- things that Nicole would buy anywhere else in the world, or online, cost about 50 to 70% less than in Australia, for no good reason. I can tell that whatever my makeup-addicted wife has obtained is at the higher end of pricey when she doesn't admit right away as to the cost. Mind you, a few months ago, Nicole did have an "oh my" moment with her makeup spending...she started putting the receipt values into a spreadsheet and performed a sum() calculation on the data. I think her exact words were: I may have a problem.
Anyway...
I really don't know much about makeup...actually, that's not entirely true any longer -- over the last few years with Nicole I've learned many, many things. Mostly brand names, though. Nars (not Mars). MAC (Not Apple). Burberry (apparently they do makeup as well as that tartan pattern).
Is my life richer for knowing these things? Probably not.
Have I likely forgot how to do something critical by having replaced the knowledge in my brain with factoids about makeup? Likely so. (Right over left, and under...right over left, and under...must repeat to remember)
I have, however, learned the delicate art of answering the question: What do you think?
Men, you know what I'm getting at here.